Fri. Mar 24th, 2023
You're Stupid, Pathetic, a Sissy, a Loser! - The Art of Conversational Combat Jujitsu

You're Stupid, Pathetic, a Sissy, a Loser! - The Art of Conversational Combat Jujitsu

(WARNING: Reader Discretion is Advised. Strong Inappropriate Offensive Languages in this Article. Read at your own Risk.)

Ok, so you’re out having a good time, meeting lots of girls, having fun, your energy is pumped, your state is so high, you never feel more alive…and then all of a sudden some jerk comes up to you and calls you “stupid”, “loser”, “pathetic”, etc.

Your heart skips a beat, your body begins to boil up, you ear tingles “Oh no, he did not just call me that!” Your first response is that you are ready to knock this guy out KO. … or either you’re trying to think of a witty quick comeback to attack him back, and so just remain there in silence until it is too late.

If you’ve ever seen a fight on a night out, it would usually go something like this:

One person would say “Screw you!”. The other person would then say “Screw you motherscrewer, I’m gonna screw you up!” right back, and the other person would say “Screw you!” again. This endless “Screw-You Altercation” gets really childish and pathetic and even humorous after time.

It’s like “Screw you!” is the only clever thing they can think of up to attack the other person back with. That is the only thing they can say. Very non-intellectual, verbal combat Jujitsu, indeed if you ask me.

I’ve been getting questions regarding how to handle insults and abusive verbal attacks that can happen whenever you go out because this game can be brutal when it comes to trying to get the same girl other guys have same interest in, but have no fear, I’ll give you some lethal tactics to handle these situations.

I’ll be honest with you…I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and I thought about this for a long time and developed ways to counterattack this into simple social structures to be used over and over again.

What I’m about to show you really work and are extremely effective against these types of people who messed with you, but I caution you not to use them for evil.

Therefore, I’d like to devote today’s lesson exclusively to “the Art of Conversational-Combat Jujitsu” training.

Put on your Jujitsu-uniform and prepare to get an instant black belt today!

I’m going to share with you some powerful social structures to be used in regards to conversational Jujitsu when somebody does verbally attack you.

Most people would tell you to just simply ignore it, like it is no big deal, and that is what they told you back in grade school, and that is fine; however, that doesn’t actually stop the attacker from continuing attacking at a later point.

You can ignore them, but I challenge you to social experiment, besides, would you rather feel a little more satisfied if you could have fun with it and stretch your creative muscle?

If anything else, go with the flow, and never get defensive and succumb to their frame.

The frame you want to come from is, “How can I make the attacker look pathetic because of his action?”

When you are out there, there will be people who will mess with you, and you have to know and be prepared to defend yourself that reverts their own attack back on them to make them be the idiots of their own aggression.

A mirror attack, like in Aikido, the form of martial arts where you redirect your opponent’s energy attack right back on them. Reverse and reflect the damage back on them so you’re not the overaggressive, testosterone-fueled perpetrator.


Ever notice how in a fight, whoever is the one (Person A) getting beaten up by the other (Person B) is always seen as the victim and your natural instinct is to just step in to help that Person A who is getting beaten up by Person B, even though it probably never occurred to you that Person A could be the one who harmed Person B first, but it’s just that Person B is better at physical confrontations, and Person A is playing the “victim’s card” to draw outside sympathy to crush Person B.

I know it’s an unfair fight.

This happens a lot especially with girls.

A guy punches a girl, and then hell breaks loose for that guy as all the other guys jump in and will knock the shit out of that guy who punched that girl, even though she could have done something to him first.

She’s playing the victim’s card.

That’s why we want to divert the damage caused by the other person back on them to make them the fool that they set out to cause you to be; and you’re not playing the victim’s card either.

The key is to focus on them and what they are doing says about them, NOT on what they’re actually say.


“What’s with the messy hair? You need to get a haircut.”

“Somebody seems jealous.”

To be frank, I don’t like doing this because I rather befriend the guy and possibly add him to my social circle, but there is a certain time when you have to let diplomacy go out the door.

So here are the things you can do. Remember always accompany these with a smile.

Some of my simple default blunt answers would be “Cool”, “I know”, “That’s awesome”.

And now the social structures you can use over and over again to guide your responses are:

– The Question Counterattack

Counterattack with a Question. Respond everything they say with a question.


Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!

You: Are you impressed? Are you looking to become one as well? Are you asking for advice on to be a stupid idiot too? What’s with the attitude, did your girlfriend break up with you?

– The Expert Counterattack

This technically makes them seem like a big-know-it-all pedant.

The formula for this social structure is you would start off with, “Yeah, and you would know because…” and whatever they attacked you with, use it right back on them.


Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!

You: Yeah, and you would know because you’re the expert on stupidity.

You: Yeah, and you would know because you’re the BIGGEST idiot in the room.

Attacker: You’re a pussy!

You: Yeah, and you would know because you have the largest pussy hole of them all.

– The Sarcasm Counterattack

Agree and Exaggerate to the Ridiculous Extreme in sarcastic approach tone.

This is the one you can have the most fun with because you are simply just going with the flow and agreeing with the other person but exaggerating so much to the extreme that it becomes hard to take anything the interaction goes less than a joke.


Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!

You: Absolutely my good man! I’m the biggest stupid idiot of them that I cry about it all the time and have to see a therapist 3 time a day, everyday, every year, that I’m broke, homeless, nobody loves me, everybody hates me and never talks to me except for you. You’re my new best friend of good ole buddy ole pal.

– The Clueless Counterattack

Silent, Don’t Register, Stale-Face, Eye-blinking…Hmmm?

This one requires the least amount of effort to execute. For those of you who like to stay non-reactive, this will probably be your favorite one but with a little added spice.

You’re just giving them a continuous blunt “Hmmm?”, with a stale-face blinking your eyes like what that person said didn’t register. It has to be somewhat apparent that they know you understand what they are saying but just not bulging, like you’re toying with them.

Doing this over and over again, and constantly making them repeat themselves to hopefully agitate them, they would usually quit, if not use the other counterattacks.


Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!

You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)

Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!

You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)

Attacker: I said you’re a stupid screwing idiot! (getting more agitated)

You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)

Attacker: Are you deaf?

You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)

– The Assumptive Counterattack

Make up an absurd assumption about the attacker that makes them look like idiot of what they are saying or to your favor.


Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!

You: Oh so you must work with retards then.

Now isn’t learning these social structures to these counterattacks so much better than memorizing 50 thousands clever witty comeback lines that you would probably forget?

But Gabriel, what if somebody do say “Screw you!”?

Hot Girl: Screw you!

Me: You wish. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Asshole: Screw you!

Me: Sorry, not into dudes. (Assumptive Counterattack)

(Also notice here, how I redirect what the girl said to make it seem like she wants to have sex with me, but that will be a lessen for another time.)

Always focus on the other person, on the “you”, not on “I”. This way you shine the spotlight back on themselves and they will be forced to justify and defend themselves, then you’ve gotten them right where you want them to be.

Finally, here is an example of a full interaction with all these counterattacks applied, that happened to me one night when I was out talking to a girl when this attacker came up to me:

Attacker: Ewww…

Me: Awww, poor baby boo needs his mommy to clean up his “ewww” mess? (Question Counterattack that makes him look pathetic)

Attacker: What’s with the shirt?

Me: Hmmm? (Clueless Counterattack)

Attacker: I said what’s with the stupid shirt!

Me: You like it. Wanna have it? (Question Counterattack) It will look so much better on you. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Attacker: I ain’t gay like you!

Me: Yeah, and you would know…that would make you the biggest queer in the room then. (Expert Counterattack that makes him the gay one instead)

Attacker: Screw you! (finally losing control)

Me: Sorry, not into dudes (Assumptive Counterattack)

Notice how the more he continued on attacking, the more he continued to shoot himself in the foot and became the victim of his own aggressive attacks. I was not necessarily attacking him. I was reflecting the attacks back on him.

Overall, let the attacker be/create/cause their own demise, without you being guilty.

So now you have some powerful social structures to deflect any verbal confrontation, so please drop the unoriginal lame “Screw you!” combat…you might have kids around listening.

These are my secret weapons, use them wisely.

Now that you’re verbally armed, that’s it for today’s lesson.

And remember…don’t go out intentionally looking for fights.

write by Lagan

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