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– Do you foot the bill for your relationship?
– Are you giving more of yourself to your mate without getting anything in return?
– Are you paying for everything but, justifying your actions?
– When speaking of events e.g. the movies, concerts or social functions, do you say, “I don’t have the money” instead of saying we don’t?
There is something very sinister going on in the world of relationships and it starts with women buying affection with their money, or self respect and in most cases, both.
I’m noticing an ugly pattern of women who are just so frustrated with the “finding a man” process, that they are making extremely poor self destructive decisions. This especially happens, when they actually meet a guy who is above their expectations in the looks, or status category. She will lose her self-respect and dignity just to keep that man. She is aware that this man is not good for her but can’t leave.
OMG! Don’t let her meet a guy with status and looks; because this is when the most educated and prosperous woman can surprisingly lose her edge, confidence, self-respect and dignity.
Why? Well, it’s all about limiting beliefs, fear and for some of these women, the deep down feeling that they do not deserve a man of that caliber. It is really how they feel about themselves. Now stay with me, because I’m about to take you somewhere very ugly.
Here in 2010, there are women STILL NOT comfortable with their dark skin color and would take all types of mess and disrespect from El Debarge types of brothers. When watching them closely, you will hear subtle comments regarding now wanting to have dark skinned or (blue black) kids and girls with long hair. Also, a woman who thinks this way will bring up past relationships when they dated a light skinned guy. I would wonder and ask, “Why are you describing a man when the question was not on the table?” I would never get an intelligent answer even from educated women; they would just say “Phil, I’m just saying” But why? This is what I’m thinking.
Next, there are some women in these categories: over-weight, and average to below average looking who are doing the exact same thing with men that are ABOVE their expectations!
All of these women are purchasing cars, clothes, all type of fine gifts for these men and getting NOTHING in return but the ability to parade this man around their friends, family and co-workers and yes, church members. Many of them are staying at home waiting by the phone, maxing out credit cards, spending all of their money chasing this guy, being cheating on and still looking for ways to impress him by doing anything he wants. They act as if they are afraid, or too in love to kick that NO good, lying, cheating, disrespecting gigolo to the curve.
I discovered that most of these women have a huge fear that some other woman with get that man, after she let him go and he would straight up and fly right!!! This is unbelievable, but very true! You will be hard pressed to find anyone who could ever convince them to leave that man.
I have to also say that a more attractive woman with average looking guys flocking to them is not off the hook either. You see, they are looking for the cream of the crop brothers, the high caliber guy; one with looks, smarts and status. If she finds one who is cute and in a professional position, even if he is not making money yet, she jumps on him. She will see the potential and do the exact same thing; try to buy their affection. Many focus on the status instead of the actual relationship and treatment.
These tragedies are happening everyday and many of you reading this article know of someone I’m describing.
Ladies, to love yourself is a verb! It requires your actions, not just words.
A high caliber guy is one who is aligned with your values and vision of life. Not how fine, or cute he is and his status. He can be fine and cute, but NO MAN IS WORTH THE LOST OF YOUR SELF RESPECT AND DIGNITY PERIOD! Never fear leaving a man who mistreats you.
Sharing and caring for each other, is not buying affection. But when it is expected for you to carry the load without contribution–you are just a woman paying to keep a man.
Don’t buy this lame line from a man: “You’ll never find another man like me”,”Men are not growing on trees for women like you.”, “Who will want a woman with this many kids”, “You better be happy with what you got…”
Guess what, all of these comments are only true, IF, You believe such a thing.
write by Ethelbert